R e l a t i o n s h i p s ,  P a g e  4
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Re: word-'marriage'. God has given wonderful guidelines for happy relationships, however being as pig headed as most of us are, we first must try our way – right? 
    When a man and woman are committed physically to each other, this is marriage in the original meaning -Genesis 2:24,25 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave-(stick with, be committed)-unto his wife-(original is 'woman')-and they shall be one flesh."-From the physical union a unique relationship develops, different for every set of couples. There were great women with wonderful relationships recorded in the Bible.
    God is a God of love. He wants us to have loving harmonious relationships, not relationships made up of rules and regulations (Romans 13:10), but of the heart; love expressed from the heart -Ephesians 6:6

The woman came through, or, was of, the man (1Corinthians 11:8-10), created for him. In this (the reason for her creation) there is special consideration
    In God's spiritual viewpoint, once in Christ, we're all one (Galatians 3:28; Acts 15:9; John 10:16); however a woman's willingness to fulfil that which she understands to be her distinct purpose, is under privileged consideration.

Do you possess an unselfish desire to satisfy the other? Learn and use these 3 phrases: "I'm sorry"; "I forgive you"; "I love you". 
     In a relationship each is accountable to the other, otherwise it will never function as a single unit and without that, there is no strength in it.
    A couple reaching maturity in a relationship will arrive at the place where neither of them have any wants or needs desired or expressed, because fulfilment of the other is always the priority in the relationship. 
    A couple I know, together for over 20 years said this about their relationship. They decided that a key to maintaining a vibrant relationship was to always be spoiling each other. They constantly give – presents, surprises, help, talk time, sexual favors; doing all each can to smother the other with affection in all its various forms spoiling one another. Nice! -Ecclesiastes 9:9; 1John 4:7. Such couples exhibit an affair of honor and loyalty by showing affection, each being a recurring source of cheer, encouragement and enjoyment to the other.

Man cannot 'create' in the sense the term is used in Genesis 1:1. We can only 'fashion' or 'form' things out of existing material. The closest we come to creating is in reproducing ourselves sexually. This is perhaps one reason why the devil wants to pervert and destroy God's standard for sexuality (and everything else that is good); it is deeply connected to our being made in the image of God. 
    On abusive relationships. The key to a loyal mate and the key to building love in a relationship

Questions

I'm in a marriage by nothing more than name alone, but wondered if I should divorce after reading Romans 7:2.

Paul here was using an analogy of the Old Testament Mosaic Law to show it's now dead and we are free of it.
    God divorced His nation ancient Israel -Jeremiah 3:8. Divorce was allowed under the strictness of the old covenant; how much more then under the new covenant? -John 10:10. If one is 'condemned' to a 'marriage from hell', he or she hardly can live abundantly and in joy and peace -Romans 5:16
    If the marriage is not 'clean' and there's little or no hope for improvement...Romans 6:18,19
    Some churches today are fanatical about divorce, greatly frowning on a divorced person even dating. A divorced person in a group such as this can develop a state of guilt. 
    Some churches improperly utilize Matthew 19:6. It's saying that if a couple is happy together, God's concern is that any authority should not separate them. The relationship is either bound or broken. 
    Does the grace of God come because one is willing to keep the ten commandments? 
    Some religious people today, especially in fanatical eastern religions, and yes, some in churches in western Christianity too, deal more harshly with each other than was required under the defunct Old Testament laws. Under those laws, a divorce would occur by a written down intention to do so, and it was over. But, forgetting grace in this New Testament time, some pastors have acted toward church members more damagingly than even under harsh Old Testament times. Doctrines of demons they are.
    Jesus was against the frivolous putting away of another -Matthew 19:9. This verse also infers that one is therefore free for another relationship if the partner has been joined sexually to another. And what if she or he just up and takes off on you? -1Corinthians 7:15.

If one is married (committed and dedicated) strictly to Christ, can they have a sexual relationship with another? -Romans 7:3,4.-
    In Christ are we not free from all other spiritual relationships? -1Corinthians 9:19; Galatians 3:28; 4:31.
    Should we marry again? Galatians 5:1 (I realize the context is talking about the old covenant law, but nevertheless, for many men and women in some marriages, it is bondage and not abundant joy), but also 1Peter 2:16. Sometimes the best way to 'fix' it, is to nullify it, as God did with the old covenant. 
    Paul says in 1Corinthians 7:15 that if one's unbelieving mate depart, one is now free as God's heart is for us to live in peace. And in verse 13 there; says that if an unbeliever (no real 'agape' love in one's heart as God is love and His nature is now our nature if we're in Him) is pleased to dwell with you, then you should stay together. Why? If he or she is treating you terribly, then obviously he or she is not pleased to dwell with you. The relationship has become an 'empty box'. The word in the original Greek for 'depart' is 'to separate oneself from'. If your mate's heart has gone to another, he or she has separated from your heart, from your love. 
    Love is spiritual. Let's compare spiritual things with spiritual and not enforce the spiritual with physical things -1Corinthians 2:13-(the word 'comparing' here means 'to fit jointly together'). 
    Some couples have so much faith and hope in each other, that becomes the 'spiritual' part of their life, and may be fatal to their spiritual life. This itself, an addiction.
    Being codependent rather than Christ dependent (1Peter 1:16-22), ties them to each other in such a way as to hinder spiritual growth -1Corinthians 3:11. This is defiling oneself -1Corinthians 3:16,17,21,23. Some are so codependent, they refrain from independence.
    God does not want clones. This is God's world and He uses the devil in His engineering of circumstances that affect us. God doesn't have a 'cookie cutter' plan for all of us. Rather He has a separate plan for each of us individually and teaches us all differently -Matthew 20:23. In this teaching much is allowed of our decisions to come to pass, both good and bad -Deuteronomy 32:20; Isaiah 46:8-13. This has to do with our personality and character. One person's life lessons are different from another persons.
    Personality is what is you, how you are and appear to others as you express yourself through talking, singing, writing, walking, etc.
    Character is your database of information, your stored decisions from which you respond to circumstances, situations and people.
    People need individual circumstances and refreshed thinking to be interesting to each other, to God, and to have unique personalities.
    God wants each individual to be strong on their own, so Christ in us and working with us if not Christian as yet, highlights that which brings forth unique qualities -1Peter 3:4. Why?
    Individually, each of us are Christ's workmanship -Ephesians 2:10. God exhibits this anti cloning characteristic of His character in the incredible diversity of the species of plants that He created.
    Building one's character-is one's own responsibility but God often provides the circumstances. Codependency precludes this. Wisdom and decisions are needed.-...continues


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