God has given wonderful guidelines for happy relationships, however being
as pig headed as most of us are, we first must try our way – right?
When a man and woman are committed
physically to each other, this is marriage in the original meaning -Genesis
2:24,25 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and
with, be committed)-unto
they shall be one flesh."-From
the physical union a unique relationship develops, different
for every set of couples. There were great
women with wonderful relationships recorded in the Bible.
God is a God of love.
He wants us to have loving harmonious relationships, not relationships
made up of rules and regulations (Romans
13:10), but of the heart; love expressed from
the heart -Ephesians 6:6.
The woman came through,
or, was of, the man (1Corinthians
11:8-10), created for him. In this (the reason for her creation) there
is special consideration.
In God's spiritual viewpoint, once
Christ, we're all one (Galatians
Acts 15:9; John
10:16); however a woman's willingness to fulfil that which she understands
to be her distinct purpose, is under privileged consideration.
Do you possess an unselfish desire
to satisfy the other? Learn and use these 3 phrases: "I'm sorry"; "I forgive
you"; "I love you".
In a relationship each is accountable
to the other, otherwise it will never function as a single unit and without
that, there is no strength in it.
reaching maturity in a relationship will arrive at the place where neither
of them have any wants or needs desired or expressed, because fulfilment
of the other is always the priority in the relationship.
A couple I know,
together for over 20 years said this about their relationship. They decided
that a key to maintaining a vibrant relationship was to always be spoiling
each other. They constantly give – presents, surprises, help, talk time,
sexual favors; doing all each can to smother the other with affection in
all its various forms – spoiling one another. Nice!
-Ecclesiastes 9:9; 1John
4:7. Such couples exhibit an affair of honor and loyalty by showing
affection, each being a recurring source of cheer, encouragement and enjoyment
to the other.
Man cannot 'create' in the sense the term is used in Genesis
1:1. We can only 'fashion' or 'form' things out of existing material.
The closest we come to creating is in reproducing ourselves sexually. This
is perhaps one reason why the devil wants to pervert
and destroy God's standard for sexuality (and everything else that is good);
it is deeply connected to our being made in the image of God.
abusive relationships. The key
to a loyal mate and the key to building love in a relationship.
I'm in a marriage
by nothing more than name alone, but wondered if I should divorce after
reading Romans 7:2.
Paul here was using an analogy
of the Old Testament Mosaic Law to show it's
now dead and we are free of it.
His nation ancient Israel -Jeremiah
3:8. Divorce was allowed under the strictness of the
old covenant; how much
more then under the
new covenant? -John 10:10.
If one is 'condemned' to a 'marriage from hell', he or she hardly
can live abundantly and in joy
and peace -Romans
If the marriage
is not 'clean' and there's little or no hope for improvement...Romans
Some churches today are fanatical
about divorce, greatly frowning on a divorced person even dating. A divorced
person in a group such as this can develop a state of guilt.
Some churches improperly utilize Matthew
19:6. It's saying that if a couple is happy together, God's concern
is that any authority should not separate them. The relationship is either
bound or broken.
the grace of God come because
one is willing to keep the ten commandments?
Some religious people today, especially
in fanatical eastern religions, and
yes, some in churches in western Christianity too, deal more harshly with
each other than was required under the defunct Old Testament laws. Under
those laws, a divorce would occur by a written down intention to do so,
and it was over. But, forgetting grace in this New Testament time, some
pastors have acted toward church members more damagingly than even under
harsh Old Testament times. Doctrines
of demons they are.
Jesus was against the frivolous
putting away of another -Matthew 19:9.
This verse also infers that one is
therefore free for another relationship if the partner has been joined
sexually to another. And what if she or he just up and takes off on you?
If one is married (committed
and dedicated) strictly to Christ, can they have a sexual relationship
with another? -Romans 7:3,4.-
Christ are we not free from all other spiritual relationships? -1Corinthians
9:19; Galatians 3:28; 4:31.
Should we marry
5:1 (I realize the context is talking about the old covenant law, but
nevertheless, for many men and women in some marriages, it is bondage and
not abundant joy), but also 1Peter 2:16.
Sometimes the best way to 'fix' it, is to nullify it, as God did with the
1Corinthians 7:15 that if
one's unbelieving mate depart, one is now free as God's heart is for us
to live in peace. And in verse 13 there; says that if an unbeliever (no
real 'agape' love in one's heart as God
is love and
is now our nature if we're in Him) is pleased to dwell with you, then
you should stay together. Why?
If he or she is treating you terribly, then obviously he or she is not
pleased to dwell with you. The relationship has become an
'empty box'. The word in the original Greek for 'depart' is 'to separate
oneself from'. If your mate's heart has gone to another, he or she has
separated from your heart, from your love.
is spiritual. Let's
compare spiritual things with spiritual and not enforce the spiritual with
physical things -1Corinthians
word 'comparing' here means 'to fit jointly together').
have so much faith and hope in each other, that becomes the 'spiritual'
part of their life, and may be fatal to their spiritual life. This itself,
rather than Christ dependent (1Peter 1:16-22),
ties them to each other in such a way as to hinder spiritual growth -1Corinthians
3:11. This is defiling oneself -1Corinthians
3:16,17,21,23. Some are so codependent, they refrain from independence.
not want clones. This is
God's world and He uses the devil in His engineering
of circumstances that affect us. God doesn't have a 'cookie cutter'
plan for all of us. Rather He has a separate plan for each of us individually
and teaches us all differently -Matthew
20:23. In this teaching much is allowed of our decisions to come to
pass, both good and bad -Deuteronomy
32:20; Isaiah 46:8-13. This
has to do with our personality and character. One person's life lessons
are different from another persons.
is what is you, how you are and appear
to others as you express yourself through talking, singing, writing, walking,
is your database of information, your stored decisions from which you respond
to circumstances, situations and people.
individual circumstances and refreshed thinking to be interesting to each
other, to God, and to have unique personalities.
God wants each
to be strong on their own, so Christ in us and working with us if
not Christian as yet, highlights that which brings forth unique
qualities -1Peter 3:4. Why?
of us are Christ's workmanship -Ephesians
2:10. God exhibits this anti cloning characteristic of His character
in the incredible diversity of the species
of plants that He created.
one's own responsibility but God often provides
the circumstances. Codependency precludes this. Wisdom
and decisions are needed.-...continues