M a t i n g ,  P a g e  6
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The macho hustler guys can often have a hard time handling the stresses and responsibilities of daily living. Ultra meekness in someone is better but can cloak anger. Moses was like this -Numbers 12:3. Look for a man who is tolerant and won't become nit picking and bitter towards you -Colossians 3:19. Many persons have not been taught to relate to others in a loving manner. Look for a man who doesn't have all his vision wrapped up in the relationship. Otherwise he'll drive you nuts trying to get every detail in the relationship perfect and may lack the forgiveness needed to make the relationship smoothly work.
    Many women pass over (because they want the macho 'exciting' guy) the fellow who is a volunteer to the handicapped, the guy who has developed love for things other than himself (albeit, in some cases, only for his computer so far eh! – ha!), the guy with a good upbringing (the most important consideration regarding another) who may not necessarily want to be in the main stream of the dating scene.
    Even to meet these guys is difficult (and they are by far the majority) as they are seldom in a bar, preferring instead to improve themselves and enjoy life in a more peaceful, patient and meaningful way. They may or may not go to church. They will possess a good sense of humor, be lovers of good things (Titus 1:8) and look at life from a positive point of view -Philippians 4:8.
    Perhaps you'll see them as they shop for groceries and clothing, perhaps in church, maybe at work. Ask God to guide you to him and look for unselfishness in him when you meet him. Look at the actions and notice what results another produces in you. Selfishness is deadly to a relationship. See the 'rate-a-mate'.
    And deceitfulness is something to watch for -Jeremiah 3:20-(word 'treacherously' here, can also be translated 'deceitfully'). We can love anyone we decide to. Decision is the key! But seek a man who makes you feel good about yourself; sexy and confident. If he can't make you feel like this, why are you with him?

Hey guys! Why let a woman choose you? You should probably move on from a lot of those kind. Know what you want (talk to older people who've been through it) and do the choosing yourself. Be bold enough to introduce yourself to a girl you are attracted to. Know what you want in the way of character in her. Concepts of conversation

If a woman is hot for God, she'll be sexy and if inclined toward you (see 'commitment', below a bit), hot for you if you are too (Proverbs 31:10-31 -verse 30 here about a woman who 'fears the Lord' means a woman with whom a relationship with God is number 1 in her life); Amos 3:3) hot for God.
    If you take attention, concern, patience, kindness, gentleness and understanding into the relationship, most women will respond with passion, if she has sufficiently overcome the hurts of her past.
    One overcomes all negatives by knowing they have the righteousness of Jesus Christ. Example.
    If you treat her special, she'll stay with you. 
    Some of the best advice I ever heard to maintain a great relationship was to decide to spoil each other. That comes from Jim Richards of Impact Ministries. It's worked for him and his beautiful lady that's spoiled him for over twenty years. Jim needs spoiling and hey – don't we all? The way a woman likes to be treated is often! 
    Hey! You're on a journey through life; you might as well enjoy it as best you can! 

Avoid the guy who is violent and may not be gentle with you (Malachi 2:14-16) or children. Some men, and much more so than women, have a 'vandalism syndrome'; that is, once a relationship is good, they find some reason, or excuse, to wreck it! Truly, the demons do have an 'in line' to many. Watch for early frustrations in men, and consider that these frustrations some day may be directed towards you, and/or the relationships, and/or, anything that seems permanently clean, good, wholesome, constructive.
    Many women have been abused by their male partners. Some are so downhearted and confused they interpret a clinched fist as an expression of love or exercise and hang in there for more – "I don't need to go out and exercise. I can stay home and get it from fist dodging."
    Many guys are predisposed to anger and fits of rage -(Psalms 37:8; Proverbs 15:18 "A wrathful man stirreth up strife; but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.").
    It takes time and circumstances to find this out. Why respond to a man who treats you without gentleness and dignity? Where do you think you'll ever go in life with this kind of person? Perhaps to the grave.
    For men in the Calgary area who want help to overcome a tendency to be abusive, contact Men's Domestic Conflict Help Line at 266-4357. For women contact the Calgary Women's Emergency Shelter at 232-8717.
    Get the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) video entitled Violence Against Women; call 1-800-445-5144. 
    Some religions have taught women to 'submit'. In Ephesians 5:21-Paul tells us to be submitting (original is 'aligning with') to each other. And why? If you are both seeking to grow spiritually, you naturally would see which of you at any time would be ahead in this area.-...continues


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